About the Blog and xLog#
Keeping a diary is an intermittent behavior of mine. Since I started this habit, I have probably written over 20 articles, some of which were published publicly on social media and Twitter, while others were written in Evernote and never looked at again.
I generally feel that I want others to see what I write, but I think my writing is too bland, and I have a strong sense of shame, making it hard for me to let others see it.
The blog gives me this choice, allowing me to share my thoughts while keeping me away from the evaluations of social media. The blockchain blog provided by xLog ensures that what I write will not be lost, for which I am very grateful, but I also worry whether the platform's commercialization model can support its continued operation. I hope that after I die, these writings can serve as training data for AI, allowing me to continue living as a digital entity on the internet.
About Singapore 🇸🇬#
I initially came to Singapore because of the internet and web3 frenzy in 2021, which made me feel there were more opportunities here than back home. However, more than a year later, with layoffs at various companies, an influx of people from many countries, and skyrocketing prices, I am no longer as convinced about my initial thoughts. Plus, with moon still back home, I might have to return in a few months.
I once thought that one should make sacrifices for career development, but in reality, the so-called "career development" is likely just a human fantasy. The life experiences accumulated in good times can quickly become worthless, much faster than we imagine, whether it’s coding in front of ChatGPT or high-paying internet jobs in today’s increasingly conflicting era.
Singapore is a good place. Even though the things that initially attracted me are no longer here, I still feel this way, especially as a person of Asian descent. The various intricate designs in society make me feel it is a big government country, but the difference lies in the general respect for common sense, science, and most importantly, the respect for citizens. I am very happy that there is still such a Chinese community in this world. It’s a pity I didn’t catch the right moment, but if given the chance, I would still like to come back here, hoping to bring moon along next time.
About Recent Life#
I have been interning at a 🇩🇪 company for nearly four months now, doing semiconductor work that is completely different from what I did before. The work pressure is minimal, there’s no clocking in, I can leave around five every day, there are two days a week I can work from home, and there are many holidays. However, to be honest, I am not happy with my work.
Many of my colleagues have been working at this company since graduation, for nearly 30 years, and the work content is quite dull and boring. It’s easy to doubt the value of what I am doing. For some things I think could be improved, as an intern, I have no way to give feedback to the company’s technical structure, after all, it’s not my responsibility.
Sometimes I even start to miss the standardized processes and technical architecture at Huawei, as well as the fulfilling life I had there. I think I must be going crazy.
About These Three Years#
It has been three years since I graduated from university, and I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been so determined to study in Japan, and instead went straight to work in an internet company after graduation. What if I had chosen to go to Hong Kong or Singapore instead of taking a gap year in Japan? What if, besides NUS, I had also received an offer from a Canadian school?
The word "wasted" should be the best summary of my past three years. I changed jobs twice, studied for a year in a master’s program, and ended up back at the starting point of my undergraduate graduation. But to be honest, I do not regret it. I can even say that I have now accomplished everything I wanted to do and have everything I wanted to have. Even if tomorrow is the last day on Earth, I can accept it peacefully.
I worked at a company in a country I once dreamed of, experiencing the work atmosphere there; I went to a company I once disliked, changed some of my biases, and did some things I believe are valuable; I attended a well-known school for graduate studies, studying a direction I am interested in (AI + robotics); and most importantly, I met moon.
When I started a long-distance relationship with moon, I was quite anxious. We indeed faced many conflicts, but the good news is that these conflicts have brought us closer together, and I have come to understand what is truly important in my life.
Career and money are important; a man needs a career to become the most important pillar of the family. However, compared to family, career and money are trivial. On the last day of life, no one will regret not earning that extra money or missing out on a career opportunity, but they will definitely regret not being there for their family and for the people they love. Fortunately, I woke up early enough and haven’t made any serious mistakes.
In two months, I will turn 25. Happy early 25th birthday to me, and I hope you are happy too.